Poll Question: What has been your most frustrating part about having a chronic illness?

In Chronic Illness on November 6, 2010 at 7:51 pm

What has been your most frustrating part about having a chronic illness?

(Please note that any answers may be used in a magazine article and/or book at some point in time).  Thank you.


How to Be a Friend When Your Friend Is Chronically Ill…

In Friendship on November 3, 2010 at 12:41 pm


Ways to be a friend to someone who is chronically ill…

1. At least, occasionally say, “How are you doing?”  Don’t ignore the person’s illness just because it’s not going anywhere.  I have a “friend” who hardly ever asks how I’m doing, and it does not go unnoticed. 

2. Don’t get frustrated or become judgemental when the sick person responds to “How are you doing?” with the same answer each time you ask how they’re doing.  Telling the truth is not complaining.  If their back constantly hurts, then their back constantly hurts.  The ill person shouldn’t have to lie about or omit  how they feel in order to make you more comfortable. 

3. Listen.  Sometimes a sick person just wants to vent or get it out.  It’s not being ungrateful; it’s therapeutic. 

4. Don’t act as if you blame your friend for being sick; no one deserves illness or asks to get sick.

5. Don’t make a person feel guilty for not being able to be as active as they were in the past.  There is no room for comments like, “I would’ve invited you, but you never show up, anyway.”

6. Try not to make dumb comments.  Think before you speak. 

7. Be supportive.

8.  Show compassion.  It’s just the human thing to do.  And, just think…If you show compassion to others, someone might just show compassion to you when you need it.

9.  If you care, learn about your friend’s illness.  Listen when your friend explains treatments and medications to you, do your own research, ask questions, etc.

Have You Lost Friends Because of Illness?

In Uncategorized on October 27, 2010 at 11:28 pm


Have You Lost Friends Because of Your Arthritis?

Saturday October 23, 2010

It’s hard for your friends to understand exactly what you need, why you seem down, or why you can’t go out today. Because they don’t understand life with arthritis, your friendship can become strained. By strained, I mean, they put pressure on you to do things you can’t do or don’t feel like doing. You get frustrated and they get frustrated.

You may even have a friend who decides that your friendship is unsustainable. Has that happened to you? Have you lost friends because of your arthritis? Share Your Experiences in Have You Lost Friends Because of Your Arthritis?


My response:

I’ve lost a few acquaintances.  And, a few of my relationships have changed; I’m not as close to a few of my friends, anymore.  Unfortunately, when you are dealing with a debilitating illness, a breakdown in communication and understanding is bound to happen.

People want what they want.  Unless they’re going through their own personal hell, many people don’t understand (or don’t care) how constant pain and anxiety associated with a chronic illness will prevent a person from being able to “hang” out.

Yes, I feel a little bad when my relationships head for the border…But, then I have to tell myself that I didn’t ask to get a painful, debilitating disorder.  Therefore, I cannot spend my time stressing over whether or not someone does or doesn’t understand, because they may or may not.  If they do, then I’m glad.  If not, then they’re probably not worth me stressing over anyway.  However, I know it’s not always easy to accept a write off…It can be hurtful.